People who asked more questions were liked more

The idea is that each question costs the other person something. Ask too many, and you become a bother.

So people cut their questions short. Some skip the second question even when they want to know.

The authors ran three studies of live talks between two people. Some were get-to-know-you chats online.

In some chats, people were told to ask more questions. Their partners then said how much they liked them.

The authors also studied face-to-face speed dating. There, they counted follow-up questions. A follow-up question asks about something the other person just said.

People who asked more questions were better liked by their partners. Follow-up questions stood out most.

People told to ask more questions came across as more responsive. The authors use that word for listening, understanding and care.

In speed dating, more follow-up questions went with more yes answers to a second date.

People did not expect any of this. They did not guess that asking questions would make them better liked.

The studies looked at first talks and dates. The abstract does not cover work meetings or a long list of requests.

It does not say there is no limit. The studies did not test The Archivist Method.

The Apology Loop is the habit of saying sorry before you have thought about it. It often comes out just before a question.

Behavioral Interception is the practice of catching an automatic pattern as it begins, intercepting its usual response, and practicing a different action until it becomes more natural.

Start with the body signal, like a tight throat as you get ready to ask. Catch it and name the pattern. Then ask the question with no sorry in front.