Describing what a compliment meant helped it land

People with low self-esteem often doubt they matter to their partner. They also tend to push back on kind words from that partner.

In three studies, they were asked to describe a recent compliment in a certain way. They described what it meant and why it mattered.

After that, they felt better about the compliment, about themselves and about the relationship. They felt as good as people with high self-esteem.

The effect could still be seen 2 weeks later.

Three studies found the same thing, and one effect held for 2 weeks. That is a good sign for such a simple task.

The compliments came from romantic partners. The abstract does not give the number of people.

Compliment Deflection is when you push praise away the moment it arrives. You may change the subject before the sentence ends.

This paper suggests praise can land when you stop and say what it means. That is a different action you can practice.

The third move, Rewrite, is defined this way: repeat the different action until it becomes easier to reach when the signal returns.

So when praise comes, say thank you and stop. Later, write one line on what it meant.

This study did not test The Archivist Method. It studied compliments between partners, not praise at work or from friends.

It does not say self-esteem is fixed, or that one exercise changes it. It found one way of describing a compliment helped, for at least 2 weeks.