- A new habit took 18 to 254 days to settle in
In one study, new daily habits took 18 to 254 days to near their own peak.
- Habits start from the setting, not from the goal
Once a habit forms, the setting alone can start the old response, with no goal in between.
- Habits run while your mind is somewhere else
During habits, people's thoughts were often about something else, because the action did not need them.
- A strong habit barely listens to what you want
People with a strong habit ate stale popcorn like fresh, but only in the habit's usual setting.
- A new setting can loosen an old habit
After students moved schools, old habits held only where parts of the old setting came along.
- An if-then plan took away the old habit's head start
An if-then plan removed the old habit's head start. The new option was not yet automatic.
- A big change in intention made a smaller change in behavior
In 47 experiments, a big change in intention made a smaller change in behavior.
- Watching closely for a slip helped people hold back a habit
For strong habits, watching carefully for a slip was the one strategy that helped people hold back.
- A habit is more than how often you do it
A habit is how often, how automatic, and how much it feels like you.
- Trying not to think of something brought it back
People told not to think of a white bear could not stop, and it came back later.
- Putting a feeling into words lowered the brain's alarm
In one brain scan study, naming a feeling quieted the brain's alarm areas.
- Talking to yourself by name helped people under stress
When people talked to themselves by name instead of saying I, they handled social stress better.
- Some ways of handling a feeling helped and some did not
Across 306 experiments, dwelling on a feeling did not help, while looking at the situation differently did.
- Sensing your body and trusting that sense are different skills
Sensing your heartbeat well and feeling sure about it turned out to be separate things.
- Naming the obstacle and planning for it helped children act
Children who named the obstacle and made if-then plans did better at school.
- Venting anger kept people angrier, not calmer
In one experiment, venting while dwelling on the person made people angrier, and doing nothing did better.
- Perfectionism at work did not clearly mean better work
A review found no clear link, either way, between perfectionism and how well people do their jobs.
- How serious a moment feels sets when people say sorry
Whether people said sorry tracked how serious they judged the moment to be.
- Describing what a compliment meant helped it land
People who usually push praise away felt better when they described what a compliment meant.
- Personality traits shifted over months of structured work
Across 207 studies, measured personality traits changed during structured programs, and the changes lasted.
- Angry people who told feelings apart reported lashing out less
In three diary studies, angry people who told their feelings apart reported less aggression.
- One review argues that putting a task off is about mood now
One review argues that putting off unpleasant tasks buys a better mood now, at a later cost.
- How unpleasant a task felt was closely tied to putting it off
A review of 691 correlations found that disliked tasks and impulsiveness went closely with delay.
- Students' perfectionism scores rose steadily from 1989 to 2016
College students in later years scored higher on three kinds of perfectionism than students in earlier years.
- Stronger belief in relationship destiny went with more ghosting
People with stronger destiny beliefs about relationships felt better about ghosting and reported doing it more.
- Most young adults asked about ghosting had been on both sides
In one study of 99 young adults, most said they had both ghosted someone and been ghosted.
- One partner pressing and the other withdrawing was tied to how couples fared
Across 74 studies, one partner pressing while the other pulled back was tied to how couples fared.
- After a conversation, people underestimated how much they were liked
After conversations, people guessed they were liked less than they were, and the gap could last months.
- People thought others noticed them more than others really did
People believed others noticed their looks and their words more than others really did.
- After a success, people with low self-esteem felt more uneasy than others
After a success, people with low self-esteem felt more uneasy than people with high self-esteem.
- Bad things outweighed good ones across many areas of life
Across many areas of life, bad events, feelings and feedback had more impact than good ones.
- If-then plans helped less when the habit was strong
An if-then plan helped break weaker habits, and it did less when the habit was strong.
- An if-then plan made for a feeling reduced disgust and fear
A goal not to feel disgust or fear did less than that goal plus an if-then plan.
- People placed different emotions in different parts of the body
When 701 people colored where they felt each emotion, different emotions gave different body maps.
- Sensing the body well helped some gut choices and hurt others
Sensing the body well helped gut choices when its signals favored a good option, and hurt otherwise.
- People who usually rethought a feeling fared better than those who hid it
Rethinking by habit went with more good feelings, and hiding by habit with more bad ones.
- Caring for others while leaving yourself out went with more distress
A focus on others that leaves the self out was linked to more distress. Caring for others on its own was not.
- Help that felt freely chosen went with benefits for the helper and the person helped
Help that felt freely chosen went with benefits for the helper and for the person helped.
- Making a partner jealous on purpose drew three kinds of response, one of them aggressive
One study mapped why people make a partner jealous, how they do it and how partners respond.
- People often look away from their own failures, which makes them hard to learn from
A review found learning from failure is hard. Failure stings, and its lessons are less direct.