Saying you will not fix it this time

The fixing starts before you decide to fix. You are already listing who to call, what to send, how to cover it. By the time you notice, you are mid-rescue.

That is the condition. Not the friend, and not the crisis. The reflex that turns every one of their bad nights into your job.

The Draining Bond is the name for a tie you keep paying after it stops paying back. The rescue is the payment.

Every version has two halves. The first half says you are still here. The second half names the thing you are not doing, before you start doing it.

The question in the first version is the useful part. Company or ideas. It gives them a choice, and it gives you a size.

A smaller yes is still a yes. It is the one you can give next time as well.

The rescue has a feel before it has a plan. A surge in the chest, a readiness, hands reaching for the phone. That surge is the body signal.

Catch: Feel the body signal and name the pattern before it becomes the behavior. The name is the bond, and it is asking you to pay.

Intercept: Interrupt the usual response and choose a different action before the old pattern completes. The different action is the question: company or ideas?

Rewrite: Repeat the different action until it becomes easier to reach when the signal returns. This friend has another bad night. The sentence is ready for it.

Not a reason you cannot help. Not a list of the other times. Not an apology for the smaller yes.

If someone is in danger, that is a different night. The right call then is a service, not a friend. This page is about the ordinary crisis, the one that comes monthly.