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Find help with what’s happening.

Choose one of the nine behaviors below. You will get a plain explanation, something to notice, and an action to consider.

001

I pull away or stop replying.

Disappearing

Ask for space and communicate honestly.
002

I apologize when I haven’t done anything wrong.

Apology Loop

Make requests without apologizing for having needs.
003

I test people instead of asking for what I need.

Testing

Ask directly for reassurance or support.
004

I’m drawn to people or situations that are bad for me.

Attraction to Harm

See past the pull and choose what supports you.
005

I brush off compliments.

Compliment Deflection

Receive welcome praise without dismissing yourself.
006

I keep giving more than I can sustain.

Draining Bond

Recognize your limits and choose what you can give.
007

I pull back when things start going well.

Success Sabotage

Keep taking useful steps while addressing real concerns.
008

I keep revising and struggle to finish.

Perfectionism Trap

Set a reasonable finish line and share your work.
009

My anger turns into words or actions that hurt.

Rage

Interrupt harmful reactions and seek help when safety is at risk.

The Archivist Method

The method offers a lens, not a verdict.
See the three steps

Already know the situation?

Choose a real-life example for words to use and an action to practice.

Examples
Not sure which pattern fits?

You do not need a quiz or a label to begin. Pick the behavior that sounds closest. You can explore another guide whenever you need to.