Why does my friend only talk about her boyfriend?

Look at the last few conversations as a record. How often did he come up? How long before he did? Did anything you said get a follow-up question?

The topic changes form. Some weeks it is praise. Some weeks it is complaint. Either way he is the centre, and you are the audience.

And notice the effect on you. You come away knowing everything about her week and feeling unseen in your own.

This page cannot say what is going on for your friend. A new relationship can fill someone's whole view for a while. A hard one can too. Either can leave little room for anybody else's news.

What this page can speak to is your side. There is a file in this archive called The Draining Bond. It is written for the person who keeps listening long after the listening costs them. It is not written about your friend.

Its one-liner: the reasoning arrives at the same answer no matter what the numbers were. She is happy. She is struggling. It would be unkind to change the topic. Every argument ends with you listening.

It is not jealousy to want your friend's attention back. Wanting to be asked about your own life is ordinary.

It is not your job to rule on the relationship, good or bad.

And it is not yours to fix. You cannot listen her back into balance.

Watch what happens when his name comes up again. A small sink in the chest. Your attention drifts. A polite smile that takes effort.

Bring your own news and finish it. If it turns to him, say: hang on, I was not done.

Ask for what you want, plainly. I miss hearing about you, not only about the two of you. And I want to tell you about my week.

Plan time where he is less likely to be the topic. A film, a class, a walk with something to look at.

See her less often if each visit leaves you flat. That is a fact about your week, not a ruling on her.

Check what has changed. Whether you have stopped sharing things. Whether you leave feeling invisible. Whether you have started skipping plans with her.

Dropping your own story has a body signal you can catch: the sink in the chest, a few seconds before you let it go unsaid.

This page cannot say why for your friend. A relationship can take over someone's attention, early on or when it is hard. What you can see is the effect. You have become the listener and stopped being a friend with news. That part you can raise, plainly, without making it about him.

Because he is what fills her days right now, and talk follows what fills the days. That does not mean your share has to be zero. Count the last few times: how long before he came up, and whether you got asked anything. The count gives you something to say that is not an accusation.

Complaint can be a way of thinking out loud, and you may be where she does it. You do not have to solve it or rule on him. Ask if she wants ideas. If she only wants it heard, listen for a while, then change the topic.

If what she describes is fear of him, that is a different conversation. A domestic violence hotline takes calls from worried friends too.

Bragging can be happiness spilling over, or a need to have the choice seen. This page cannot say which. You do not need to match it or deflate it. A short reply, that sounds good, is enough. Then share your own news. You are allowed to be bored by the fifth story about the same weekend.

It can look that way when he takes every conversation and every free evening. This page will not judge what she cares about. It can help you name what you have lost: time, attention, being asked. Say that part to her, in one sentence, on a calm day. I miss you lands better than you only care about him.

Conversations can tilt so far that one person is always the topic. Your stories get a nod and a turn back. This page cannot say why your friend does it. It can say what to try. Finish your own story when you start it. If it turns, say I was not done. Then watch what happens next.

Talk about other friends can be ordinary news, or it can feel like a ranking you are losing. Notice which it is for you. If it leaves you feeling compared, say so once, plainly. If it is only news, let it be news. Either way, the feeling tells you about your side, not about hers.

Some people read this page for a friend and recognize their own side of it. The story you drop halfway. The extra question about him when you wanted to talk. The nod that lasts an hour.

If that is what stayed with you, the first-person file is written for you, about your own body, not about your friend.